An honest letter and my future with work...

As you can all see, I have been extremely absent from my blog. As wedding season is in full force, so is everything else in life. Its funny, how everything seems to happen at once. But again, as chaos tries to creep in and I try to play this funny balancing act of stay at home mommy, wife, homemaker, house cleaner, taxi to my children, fabulous hair and make up artist, my own secretary,  clothing designer, website developer, blogger, oh yea - and try to create a human in my stomach...I started to realize - some things need to be cut out. This balancing act is turning into a circus. As my house is messier than I would like and my bible has some dust on it . I realized that the balance is off....way off. Saying the word NO is a difficult task for me because I love everything I do. But I had to take it down to the basics and really evaluate everything in my schedule.

Why do I do my job in the first place? I am so thankful to be able to say I have been able to balance both hair and make up and my family for quite a few years. My job has given me the flexibility to bring my babies to my weddings and shoots with me. And let me tell you, getting pictures from brides of me doing make up while wearing my new born son was the greatest gift ever! BUT, things have changed. Weddings have changed. People have changed. I fear the generation of Pinterest and contouring has changed the way brides feel about themselves. As I sit in my office and watch clients flip back and fourth between a selfie they just took and a picture of a celebrity, I realize - we have this all wrong. This is not what our weddings are about. And we will never look like these celebrities. This is not why I do the job I do. 

I LOVE clients reactions when I have completed their look and they say "I don't even recognize myself. I've never looked or felt this beautiful in my life!"  THAT is what I work for. My job is to make YOU look like the BEST VERSION OF YOU! Not someone else, not like a picture, not like a photoshopped, trendy image that a blogger just made money off of posting so it will go viral. I want to make YOU look and feel beautiful. I want you to look in the mirror and love what you see..not at a photo of another woman and compare yourself to her. But the weird thing is, I only get the "comparison" reaction from Brides. My ability doesn't change depending on the event. Everyone gets my full attention, my best brushes and my best products regardless if its their wedding or their prom. SO, what is so different? 

I think there are far too many pressures on brides and weddings in general. Pressures to have the perfect dress, the perfect make up, the best food, the most extravagant centerpieces. Why? So we can post on social media? So we can impress our guests? Its heartbreaking. I don't know why but I know it makes me sad. It makes me sad to hear how stressed brides are. And it makes me sad that they think they have to live up to any sort of expectations. 

I have done weddings for about 10 years and they have changed, dramatically.  But so have I. Which brings me to my next point. 10 years ago I was in high school. I was free on the weekends with nothing else to do. 8 years ago, I had graduated and committed to all my time to weddings. 7 years ago, I had my daughter and she was with me at most events. 4 years ago I had my son, and he still is with me at events....and in a few months baby number 3 will be with me. As my family grows, my priorities change. I no longer am able to commit to working every single weekend - all hours of the day and night like I was able to 10 years ago. 

From May - October of this year I will be traveling with the family and on maternity leave. (I might sneak in some Summer Beauty Camp Lessons) Starting in November, I will be closing my schedule off and only taking a very minimal amount of weddings. I will open 1 spot a month for weddings and filling my calendar up with family shoots, boudoir shoots, proms, make up lessons, senior portraits etc. By lowering my weddings, I will be able to focus on my minimal clients as well as my family. Neither one will take over the other as it has so frequently done as of lately. 

It is my hope that this letter is not taken offensively, but just as a working mom pouring her heart out about her job, her family and the honest frustrations that come with both. And who knows, maybe with a little more down time, I will be able to blog a little more. 

And as a side note...if you are a working momma and haven't read the book, "The Best Yes", you really should. Its a game changer. 

Love to you all and a HUGE thank you to all my beautiful Brides I have had the pleasure of taking care of on your wedding days. These frustrations are not rooted from you, they are rooted from the ones that didn't make the cut ;)