This letter is taken from my January Self Care Challenge, but I thought more mamas might need to hear this!
Hey there Mama,
Can we chat really quick?
When you look at “successful business people” outside of the home, typically you will see a common thread among them. They eat healthy, they wake up early, they work out, they make their beds, they are organized, they plan ahead etc. Among those things, they are driven, goal oriented and focused. They have implemented habits that help sustain their success.
Successful or high performing people have typically mastered many skills in addition to their main skillset or career. So while they may be a “director of client services”, they still need to know basic marketing, team building, leadership, etc.
Much like these “successful” and “high performing” business professionals - moms do the same thing. Mothers master child rearing, household organization, food prep, budgeting, managing family schedules, admin duties such as the never ending paperwork from the dang schools and doctors offices etc plus a million other jobs. And moms are expected do do all of this without pay, with no shower, no proper clothes and a freaking smile on their face.
Motherhood is one of the most underpaid and under-appreciated jobs there is. There are many negative opinions out there on stay at home moms, none of which I will give too much attention too. But, I do want to consider the fact that we don’t get paid, we don’t get raises, we don’t get vacation, we don’t get awards when we raise good humans or wipe a certain amount of butts or prepare a certain amount of meals. We just do the job. We don’t get trained on how to do the job, we just push a massive child out of our most precious lady parts and then get sent home feeling like we got hit by a truck and then have to keep that said child alive.
Somewhere along the lines, we also decided that we don’t need to care for ourselves anymore. Or better yet “we don’t have time to anymore”. That everything else is far too pressing to shower and get ready and actually feed ourselves meals. (which are non negotiable in everyone else’s eyes). Someone made us feel guilty for wanting to leave those kids to get our hair done or go out with our friends. Someone told us every meal had to be homemade and if not - we were “less than”.
So we barely survive day in and day out, we struggle to get ourselves ready, we don’t wear real clothes because of our changing bodies, we don't get ready because we “just stay home”, and we feel guilty for even thinking about spending money on ourselves.
Mothers all around the world underestimate the power of self care and the transformation it can have in their lives and those around them. Why? Because of guilt and the non stop survival mode. But, what if I told you that taking more time for yourself would pull you out of that survival mode? Switching your mindset from “just a stay at home mom” to the CEO of your home would wake you up and give you an intention everyday to get up, get ready and invest in yourself so that you can do your job, WELL.
Imagine if you implemented the same mindset + habits as a highly successful business executive - how much more pride and energy you would feel. Self care allows you to experience an ongoing feeling of full engagement, joy and confidence that comes from being your best self.
Don’t you want to show up as your best self for you and your family?
If you aren’t creating and implementing self sustaining habits, you will never be able to show up as your highest self. You will continue in the vicious cycle of survival and never truly know what it feels like to thrive and flourish as a parent.
Self care isn’t selfish, it is vital.